Just Say It: How Speaking Up Can Transform Your Relationships

4 min read5 hours ago

I’ve often been asked: How do you judge someone’s maturity? or How do you truly understand a person? One simple answer I’ve learned over time — and something reinforced by a set of books I’ve read — is this: just observe how considerate they are towards everything around them.

Not just towards people, but also towards situations, responsibilities, and even the little things in life. And one of the biggest markers of consideration? Communication.

Too often, people hold back — whether out of hesitation, fear of confrontation, or the assumption that “it’s not important enough to mention.” Some avoid difficult conversations, some leave things unsaid, and some choose silence over clarity, thinking it will prevent problems. But in reality, a lack of communication only makes things worse.

Let’s walk through a few scenarios to see this in action.

Scenario 1: The Job Search Ghosting

You’ve been looking for a job for months, sending out resumes left and right, and hearing nothing but crickets. Then finally, an HR rep reaches out! You go through multiple interview rounds, you ace them, and — boom! — you get the offer.

A week later, you need to discuss some formalities, so you call the HR person. No response. You think, maybe they’re busy. You call again — still nothing. You send an email. No reply. You try the next day. Silence.

What would most people think? Oh no, did something go wrong? Did they revoke the offer? Anxiety kicks in, scenarios play out in your head, and stress levels shoot up.

Now, imagine if the HR person had simply responded with a 10-second text:
“Hey, I’m tied up today, but I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”

That’s it. That one message would have completely changed how you felt.

Communication doesn’t have to be long or elaborate — it just has to be there.

Scenario 2: The Friend Who Never Texts Back

You’ve planned to meet a friend for dinner at 7 PM. You get there on time. They don’t.

You wait. No message. No update. Ten minutes pass. Then twenty. You text — nothing. You call — ignored. At this point, you’re wondering: Did they forget? Should I just leave?

And then, 30 minutes later, they casually show up, saying, “Sorry, got late.”

Now, compare this to a different version of the story. Imagine at 6:45, you get a text:
“Hey, stuck in traffic. Running 20 minutes late. So sorry! Order something for yourself if you’d like.”

Feel the difference? Same delay. But in one case, you’re frustrated, and in the other, you’re completely okay with waiting.

Communication doesn’t change the situation — it changes how people experience it.

Scenario 3: Lying to Friends About Missing Their Milestone

Your friend invites you to their birthday party, engagement, or another big milestone event. You don’t really feel like going — maybe you’re too tired, or it’s just not your vibe. Instead of being upfront, you make up an excuse:

“Hey, I wish I could come, but I have this unavoidable work thing.”

In reality, you just stay home, binge-watch a show, or go out with someone else.

Now, what if they find out later? Maybe through a mutual friend, maybe through social media, or maybe you slip up in conversation.

How do you think they’ll feel?

“So they lied instead of just telling me the truth?”
“Why couldn’t they just say they didn’t want to come?”

Wouldn’t it have been better to just say:
“Hey, I really appreciate the invite, but I don’t think I can make it. I’d love to celebrate with you another time!”

Honesty may feel uncomfortable in the moment, but it builds trust in the long run. Because once someone catches you lying about small things, they start questioning whether they can trust you with bigger things.

Scenario 4: The Workplace Bottleneck

You’re working on a team project, and a colleague is responsible for a crucial task. The deadline is tomorrow, and you check in:

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll finish it by tomorrow.”

Next day arrives. No update. No submission. You ask again. This time, they admit, “Actually, I haven’t started yet. I got caught up with other work.”

Now, everyone has to scramble at the last minute. But what if they had simply communicated earlier?

A quick message like “Hey, I’m falling behind on this. Can we figure out an alternative?” would have saved frustration, last-minute panic, and potential conflict.

Being upfront doesn’t make you weak — it makes you reliable.

Scenario 5: The Relationship Misunderstanding

You’ve noticed your partner acting distant lately. Something feels off. Instead of bringing it up, you assume they should just know how you feel.

You start acting colder. They notice but don’t understand why. Slowly, unspoken tensions build. A tiny misunderstanding spirals into a full-blown fight — when it could have been avoided with one simple conversation.

A straightforward “Hey, I’ve been feeling this way lately. Can we talk?” could have defused the situation before it even became a problem.

So, What’s the Takeaway?

Good communication is not about talking more — it’s about talking better.

If you’re busy, say so. (“Hey, caught up right now. Will call you later.”)
Running late? Let people know. (“Stuck in traffic! Be there in 20.”)
Can’t attend something? Be upfront. (“I won’t be able to make it, but let’s catch up soon!”)
Don’t want to do something? Be honest. (“I’d rather stay in tonight, let’s reschedule?”)
If you’re unsure, ask. (“Hey, I’m not clear on this — can you help?”)

It’s not complicated. It doesn’t require grand speeches. Just a few honest words at the right time can prevent confusion, avoid unnecessary stress, and strengthen relationships.

Because at the end of the day, a little clarity goes a long way.